Archive for July, 2012

Melt, July 21

Saturday, July 21st, 2012

Preparations for the impending move mostly feel good, but every so often I get a dramatic surge of frustration. I’m a complete mess, really; no projects I’ve started feel good enough or capture me. The art I’ve been consuming feels not only bad, but destructive– only recently have I decided to pull the plug on even trying to like things that feel wrong. I had a great conversation a couple nights ago about this, and we acknowledged our snobbery, but it felt more like a defense strategy. Being positive and nice is always number one, but actively trying to enjoy things that feel destructive to your psyche? Not so good. Consume the good stuff, the stuff that inspires you. Surround yourself with it. Cut out what doesn’t jive, or you may find yourself on a distracted path (as I have been continually finding myself on for months).

The “mess” also is coming from feeling like a patchwork of time and space. It will be consolidated soon after this move. Or something like it. Threads that have been started will either be mercifully abandoned or given the attention they need. I don’t think any of this is bad, by the way. I don’t think I’d want to be completely focused my entire life, being a mess right now is fine. I just need to acknowledge it and make sure the next solo path I choose is enriching.

I’m treading, treading, treading that goddamn water until this month is up.

July 20, Drawings

Friday, July 20th, 2012

[Mature Content]

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Caitlin

Thursday, July 12th, 2012


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On Tuesday night Caitlin & I shlepped around her uncle and aunt’s empty home in Minneapolis. It will be one of the final times we are together for a while– today she is off to Chicago for a two-week zine residency, and then she’s going to the Southwest for a month. In August I am moving to Providence.

The empty former home was just the right setting for a humid July evening, talking & drinking into the morning hours. We’ve been good friends for over ten years now; we had some rocky spots, spurred by our living together for a summer, but with many other factors involved. Growing pains. Now we’re both adults, and we’ve become incredibly tight again. It’s a relief and a miracle. To have someone so close to you for so long is so special and rare, I can’t help but feel beyond fortunate. And to have it be Caitlin is more than anyone could dream of.

I wanted to record the image I had of her that night. Our friendship is probably going to shift again, but I’m not afraid of it.